What you need to do is go down to Home Depot, buy a $20 multimeter, and start troubleshooting this in an organized manner. My experience with BD tech support on the first PDM I installed was less than impressive, and ended with just the type of response you got "Try plugging the red wire into pin 7, and see if that works". The guy had no idea what the "red" wire did, or why there was already a grey wire in pin 7. Attack this the old fashioned way. You're not cranking? Ignore any lights that the EHC, ignition, PDM, speedo, the UFO's outside your window, etc are giving you. Use a multimeter to determine where you are getting power and when. Motorcycle electrical systems are dirt simple, just that BD clogs them with 1000 wires. You need power to the coils, a working ignition to tell them when to fire, and a pickup to tell the ignition which coil to fire and when. You'll also need a working starter, which is the easiest part to troubleshoot. The first thing I'd do in this situation is force that starter to turn to see if it's an issue there. Make sure you turn on the key and press "RUN" first. It's simple and quick to do, go here:
http://www.bigdogbiker.com/forums/how/26704-what-do-if-starter-wont-turn.html#post379715
To really make it simple, pull the thin green wire off the starter, then jump an 18ga wire from the + battery terminal to the plug you just pulled the thin green wire from.
If the bike starts, then you know you've got a working ignition system and it's just an issue with the starter relay or button on the bars. If that's the case, put a plunger on there, wire you're CR's directly to the starter solenoid lug, and save the years you're shaving off your life chasing ghosts in this maze of wiring. If it cranks but won't start, run through all the checks in this thread to isolate the problem. There is also a how-to for using a multimeter, a vital skill if you want to own a Big Dog.
http://www.bigdogbiker.com/forums/technical/11514-no-spark-troubleshooting-tree.html#post359196
Now go down a shot of tequila, give the dog a stiff kick, and get the fuck to work. If I can do it, you can do it, trust me on that.