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- Thread starter Raywood
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No problem with that, Ray - Gas Man is on! :roll:
:lol: :lol: :lol:Well that just screws things up!
Straight out of the Darwin Awards, as a known legend, not fact:
http://darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-14.html
http://darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-14.html
Here's one that's true:
(1 October 2002, Saginaw, Michigan) Jim was pushing 60 when youthful memories of Easy Rider brought him to the local Harley-Davidson dealership. "It was a mid-age crisis," he told a reporter. "I'd see dudes with women and thought a motorcycle would put me in like Flynn."
When the dealer delivered the gleaming new hog to Jim's front door, his eyes lit up like a boy receiving a Red Ryder 200-shot carbine air rifle with a compass in the stock, and no grownups around to warn him that his new toy could put an eye out!
Jim started the engine and felt its pulsing, guttural power. It had been 30 years since he had been in the saddle of a babe-magnet like this. He revved the engine and listened to it purr. He kicked it into gear and roared off down the road. Born to be wild.
Ten seconds and a tenth of a mile later, Jim slammed into a neighbor's utility trailer at 40 mph as he tried to remember how the throttle worked. The cops who investigated told him it was a miracle he was alive. He survived with just a few broken ribs. "Oh my God," he said, "I hurt in places I didn't know could hurt."
Insurance covered repairs to the bike and the trailer. Jim sold the restored dream machine for $800 less than he paid, but every few weeks, he continue to receive mailings from his complimentary membership in the Harley Owners Group. Some dreams die hard.
(1 October 2002, Saginaw, Michigan) Jim was pushing 60 when youthful memories of Easy Rider brought him to the local Harley-Davidson dealership. "It was a mid-age crisis," he told a reporter. "I'd see dudes with women and thought a motorcycle would put me in like Flynn."
When the dealer delivered the gleaming new hog to Jim's front door, his eyes lit up like a boy receiving a Red Ryder 200-shot carbine air rifle with a compass in the stock, and no grownups around to warn him that his new toy could put an eye out!
Jim started the engine and felt its pulsing, guttural power. It had been 30 years since he had been in the saddle of a babe-magnet like this. He revved the engine and listened to it purr. He kicked it into gear and roared off down the road. Born to be wild.
Ten seconds and a tenth of a mile later, Jim slammed into a neighbor's utility trailer at 40 mph as he tried to remember how the throttle worked. The cops who investigated told him it was a miracle he was alive. He survived with just a few broken ribs. "Oh my God," he said, "I hurt in places I didn't know could hurt."
Insurance covered repairs to the bike and the trailer. Jim sold the restored dream machine for $800 less than he paid, but every few weeks, he continue to receive mailings from his complimentary membership in the Harley Owners Group. Some dreams die hard.
Here's another good one - no motorcycle in the story, but a great punch line at the end:
(20 June 2007, South Carolina) An hour before sunrise, a 21 year-old couple was found naked in the road by a passing cabbie. The unconscious, injured pair was taken to the nearest hospital where, despite treatment, they died without regaining consciousness. Authorities were at a loss to explain what had happened. There were no witnesses, no trace of clothing, and no wrecked cars or motorcycles.
Investigators eventually found a clue high on the roof of a nearby building: two sets of neatly folded clothes, and nothing else. There was no indication of foul play, only of foreplay. "It appears as if the two individuals have accidentally fallen off the roof," Sgt. Florence McCants said.
Safe sex takes on a whole new meaning when you are perched on the edge of a pyramid-shaped metal roof! This is a true Darwin Award trifecta: TWO people die, WHILE in the act of procreation, due to an ASTONISHINGLY poor decision. Bottom line: If you put yourself in a precarious "position" at the edge of the roof, you may well find yourself coming and going at the same time.
(20 June 2007, South Carolina) An hour before sunrise, a 21 year-old couple was found naked in the road by a passing cabbie. The unconscious, injured pair was taken to the nearest hospital where, despite treatment, they died without regaining consciousness. Authorities were at a loss to explain what had happened. There were no witnesses, no trace of clothing, and no wrecked cars or motorcycles.
Investigators eventually found a clue high on the roof of a nearby building: two sets of neatly folded clothes, and nothing else. There was no indication of foul play, only of foreplay. "It appears as if the two individuals have accidentally fallen off the roof," Sgt. Florence McCants said.
Safe sex takes on a whole new meaning when you are perched on the edge of a pyramid-shaped metal roof! This is a true Darwin Award trifecta: TWO people die, WHILE in the act of procreation, due to an ASTONISHINGLY poor decision. Bottom line: If you put yourself in a precarious "position" at the edge of the roof, you may well find yourself coming and going at the same time.
I got one.
Unfortunately, i think this may only be funny to me but here goes.
Happened on my last cruise on the Truman.
the Commander of the Air Group (CAG) walks in to our ready room and motions for my XO to come over to him. He looks around, sees me and motions for me to come over too. He starts going off on us because our planes are leaking (as airplanes often do) and says all flights are cancelled.
Me being a (been there, done that) maintenance officer, i'm thinking GREAT! A chance for my boys to catch up. So the CAG gets done talking and I say "sweet CAG, i'll let them know flights are canceled", XO (yes-man)says "thank you SIR, we'll get right on that SIR" CAG walks out.
XO turns to me and says hey Bob, SWEET???
I say, hell XO, you THANKED him!!!:lol: :2thumbs:
Unfortunately, i think this may only be funny to me but here goes.
Happened on my last cruise on the Truman.
the Commander of the Air Group (CAG) walks in to our ready room and motions for my XO to come over to him. He looks around, sees me and motions for me to come over too. He starts going off on us because our planes are leaking (as airplanes often do) and says all flights are cancelled.
Me being a (been there, done that) maintenance officer, i'm thinking GREAT! A chance for my boys to catch up. So the CAG gets done talking and I say "sweet CAG, i'll let them know flights are canceled", XO (yes-man)says "thank you SIR, we'll get right on that SIR" CAG walks out.
XO turns to me and says hey Bob, SWEET???
I say, hell XO, you THANKED him!!!:lol: :2thumbs:
Sweet.I got one.
Unfortunately, i think this may only be funny to me but here goes.
Happened on my last cruise on the Truman.
the Commander of the Air Group (CAG) walks in to our ready room and motions for my XO to come over to him. He looks around, sees me and motions for me to come over too. He starts going off on us because our planes are leaking (as airplanes often do) and says all flights are cancelled.
Me being a (been there, done that) maintenance officer, i'm thinking GREAT! A chance for my boys to catch up. So the CAG gets done talking and I say "sweet CAG, i'll let them know flights are canceled", XO (yes-man)says "thank you SIR, we'll get right on that SIR" CAG walks out.
XO turns to me and says hey Bob, SWEET???
I say, hell XO, you THANKED him!!!:lol: :2thumbs:
Sparks
Chopper Junkie!
Hey, I take exception to this portion of the story. (Bike in house=bad) Some of the old school bikers that brought me up had bikes in the house. Almost always dissasembled though and rarely started and running, (but it did happen) Fools start bikes in gear and don't have a grasp of the clutch lever which by chance is clearly near by! Bigger fools can't smell gasoline under their own ass when dropping a lit smoke. I call this an idiot looking for an accident. The bike or it's presnce in the house was not the cause.